A little update....

Well, I'm back! It has been sooo long since I have blogged. When I look back, I have not blogged since a month before our FIRST trip to Ethiopia. Since that post, we have made two trips and have returned with our precious baby boy.

I was very afraid that I would not feel like her was so precious at this point in the game, but I do....and he is!

We had a wonderful trip to Ethiopia! God had planned the groups that we were to travel with both trips. They were kind and wonderful people. All of them! You know how there is always, "one in the group" who everyone would like to choke? Well not this time! They were all terrific! We made some super great friends on our second trip. These are friends that I know we will have the rest of our lives. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!

Madix is doing awesome! He had adjusted well and is happy 99.5% of the time. He gets a little angry when he is hungry or tired, but other than that, he is great. He is sleeping from about 9-9:30 until 8:30-9:00 in the morning. He has transitioned well to food and is on a great schedule. I cannot complain of anything. He appears to be really healthy. We took him to the Dr. on Tuesday. We had to have a lot of tests ran, but she thought all in all, he looked amazing!

We are so blessed and cannot even put into words the joy that we feel this holiday season. There is a beautiful "completeness" to our family and we celebrate that this holiday season!

One month and counting....

ONE MONTH.....

In just one month, I will be boarding a plane headed for Ethiopia. In one month, I will leave two, precious children at home to meet one, precious child waiting for his mama. In one month, I will smell a different smell, taste a different taste, and feel a different feeling.

In one month, I will get to look into the big, brown eyes of my son. In one month, I will get to wrap my arms around him and give him a squeeze that only a mother can do. In one month, I will be able to know what SIZE this little guy is.

A lot will happen in one month.....and I couldn't be more excited!

My son's home....

A friend of mine has worked with my son's orphanage for several years. I was so blessed when she sent me these pictures of his orphanage and homeland. I am counting down the days until we can experience this for ourselves!!

Blessings and miracles!

I am blessed. No...really...I am BLESSED!

I have been sitting here today thinking of all the wonderful blessings in my life. My two kids....they are both smart, beautiful, funny, talented, trustworthy, independent, kind, mannerly, and on and on. I do not deserve them. I could never "earn" such wonderful kids.



My gorgeous son in Ethiopia....he will soon be 9 months old. He is strong and alert. His smile lights up a room. He can pull himself up and hold his head up strong. He has beautiful brown eyes and black, curly hair. Again, I never thought that I could be the mother of such a beautiful baby boy!

I have a beautiful home. It is so much more that I would have imagined. Because of twists and turns in life, we have this wonderful home is a quiet, safe neighborhood.

I have amazing parents. They get on my nerves...sure! What parents don't?? But they are kind and compassionate. They are always there and very supportive. They have helped us through financial difficulties and have celebrated all our successes!

And today....i celebrate that after a severe overdose of medication, 4 nights in ICU, 2 trips to the ER, and 3 days in the State Mental Hospital, my Uncle Lynn is home and in his right mind! We were fearful that he would never be "normal" again...but thank God that Satan has no dominion over us and God was victorious in this situation.

Life is FULL of blessings and miracles....you just have to be willing to claim them!

COURT DATE!

Today we got a call that we have been given a court date! We will meet our new son on October 19!! We were so excited and had already come to the conclusion that it would be after court closures!

This first trip will be very short. We will get to Ethiopia on Saturday night and fly home on Tuesday! We will have a few times that we will get to spend with "M". I can't wait to hold him and kiss his chubby cheeks! We will have to go to court to give our consent to adopt him, then head home to wait for a visa appointment. Hopefully it will only be a few short weeks, and then we will head back to bring him home!

I have had the priviledge of talking with one of the other families that we will be traveling with. This is a special bond that we will share and I can't wait to meet them in person. I know that God is already planning and ordering our steps....including those we will share it with!

So, once again....we wait! But now we have a countdown and can begin marking days off our calendar!!

It's a BOY!!

Well, it has been a week since I got "the call"!! I thought that I should post something for those of you who care and are following my blog!

The day started out like any other day.....I was up at 5:45 a.m. getting ready to go to work.. I was sluggish and crabby.....just another day. At 6:45, I went in and gave Jeremy that half-hearted "I'm really sleepy and would rather be back in bed" kiss and told him good-bye. I turned to go out the door and said over my shoulder, "Hopefully I will talk to you again this morning." (Meaning=I hope Nicky calls us and you are on the line!)

The day went by as normal. Ladies would come into work and ask the same questions they have been asking for 10 months! (and 1 week) "How is the adoption coming?" "Have you heard anything yet?" I continued to smile and spout off my usual, "Nope."

At about 11:45, I felt my cell phone buzz in my pocket. I carefully reached in and retreived the cell phone. I looked at the screen, assuming that it was my Dad letting me know the change of plans for picking up the kids. To my suprise, I see "Nicky Losse" on the called I.D. My heart started to race and I broke into a cold sweat! This was really IT! This was that call that I had waited 10 months and 1 week for! I just remember welling up with tears and saying quietly to the ladies at work, "Oh my gosh! This is it!"

The next 10 minutes were nothing but BLUR! I heard her say something about getting Jeremy on the line. I think all I said was, "Uh huh" to EVERYTHING. I had dreamed that I would be chatty and talkative, questioning everything she said. Instead, I sat in disbelief with tears streaming down my face. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry! The only thing on my mind was getting home to see his beautiful face.

I hung up the phone, turned to the owner of the store and said, "Can I go home to see my son?" It is a good thing she said yes or else I would have lost my job that day. Nothing was going to keep me from seeing his face!

I quickly ran by my parents house to get Mo and Zeke, then headed home where Jeremy was anxiously waiting. As we all gathered around the computer, I felt like I was going to puke! Was this for REAL??

I clicked on the email and THERE HE WAS! He was beautiful! He was perfectly, incredibly, beautiful! I just sat in awe, disbelief, joy, astonishment, (and 1000 other adjectives) that God would choose us to be the parents of this beautiful child! He was so perfect and so amazing! He was much more that I expected! I thought my baby would be skinny and skrawny...kind of sickly looking....but on the contrary! He is chubby! Really chubby! He has gorgeous BIG round black eyes. He has fat legs and chubby toes! He has a little bit of wonderfully black, shiny hair! He is just perfect!

So....there you have it! This is day that our little family of four, truly became a family of five....and we couldn't be more excited!! :O)

IT"S MYYYYYYY TURN!

Please forgive me while I vent......

I have been so very patient in this adventure. It truly has been an adventure! There have been many twists, turns, and anticipation lurking around every corner! Their have been ups and down and thrills. There have been fears and joys, tears and laughs. I have been a good sport. I have watched MANY friends begin this process and return home with their GORGEOUS babies and children! I have been there to hug and kiss on their babies....I've been a good sport! I have read SOOOOOOOO many blogs of people's journey through the great "unknown". I have watched "YouTube" videos of peoples video montages....and I have been a good sport! Really! I HAVE! I have patiently listened to countless friends telling me about how "perfect it will be" and "get the child that was meant for us". I appreciate and love all the advice that I have received to "be patient" and "wait on the Lord". They are ALL right....they love me.....

BUT GOSH DARN IT.......IT'S MMMMMMYYYYYY TURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh....there.....now I feel better! :O)

Mother's Day thoughts....

So here we are. Mother's Day. What a special day to celebrate being a mother.

I painfully remember 11 years ago. I remember getting the results of our fertility tests back, with the startling and devastating reality that we were never going to have children. I remember begging and bargaining with God about having a child of my own. I remember that Mother's Day. It was so painful to watch all the mothers go forward at church. I had to leave the service, for it was a pain that I could not bear. I didn't understand God's plan. All I knew was that I thought God must be awful. How could he punish us this way??

Fast forward 11 years. I sat in church with my TWO, beautiful children. I heard them lift up their voices to that same God that I once thought so terrible and hurtful. My heart was filled with gratitude and love that God DID hear my pleading and bargaining and gave me not ONE, but two children! And He didn't stop there........

This month will mark our 9th month! A completed pregnancy! I know now that our little one is born and living somewhere out in this big world. He or she is waiting to become a part of a loving, caring, God fearing family. Next year, I will sit with not only the two greatest children in the world, but I will sit with THREE tiny miracles by a God of LOVE!

Happy Mother's Day and may we have many, many more wonderful Mother's Days!

Startling realization......

Sunday was Easter. We had a great service. We decided to stay around for the Easter cantata presented by the church choir. We moved over into the overflow area of our church so that the elderly people could sit in the seats in the main auditorium. We sat behind Sarah, one of the new moms that I have on my PAT caseload. Sarah gave birth to a beautiful baby boy around the end of March.

As I sat behind Sarah and watched her interact with her beautiful new baby boy, I came to the realization that our baby has probably now been born. He (or she I suppose) is probably about the same age as baby Jackson. He is probably making the same little grunting noises and puckering his mouth in a cute way. As I sat, I became emotionally stirred. I began to wonder who is holding my baby boy? Who is talking gently to him and caressing his face? Whose eyes is he gazing into today? It made me very sad that I cannot be that one doing those things. It made my heart hurt to think that he is out there somewhere without me.

I also had another realization.......I need to pray now more than ever for my little boy (or girl). I need to pray for their birth mother and this decision that she is about to make. I need to pray for her spiritual strength and guidance. Prayers should go up for her financial blessing and the ability to feed herself so that my baby (our baby) has enough nourishment to grow. I need to pray for those who work for CHI in Eth. I have to pray for each nanny, Tsegay, Almaz, and anyone else who may have access to our little one.

In a few short months, I will be able to look at the face of my new child. Someday I will hold him in church and touch his tiny face. I will talk to him gently and meet his every need. Until then, I must continue to realize that we need God more than ever and we must stay in prayer for this little one.

Ok......I'm weak......I'll admit!

Well, today marks a momentus day in the history of our adoption.

At the beginning of this adoption process, I said that I would not call, email, text, or carrier pigeon our adoption consultant asking what number I am on the waiting list. I had made up my mind that I was strong and independent and did not need a "majic number" to make me feel better.

Today.....in a moment of weakness, I broke down and emailed Nicky. I DID, indeed ask for the "majic number". Her response was far from what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear that I was in the top ten and that I could be expecting a call anyday. What she DID say, was that we are number 31 on the over all list. She said that we can expect a referral toward the beginning of summer and possibly travel in early Fall. Fall is good....I like Fall.

So.....to those who are sitting in disbelief and shock over my actions today.....I apologize. I was weak!

Seven months, Five days!

Hello all! Just thought I better post a little something so you would all know that we are still here.....and STILL waiting! You know, the wait never seemed to bother me before. I would always laugh about those ladies that would obsess about the yahoo groups and check the agency site dozens of times a day. But guess what?? I think I am becoming ONE OF THOSE! :)

No, really though.....the wait it getting longer each day. Now that everyone in our community has their children (or going shortly--Redburns), we are suddenly feeling lonely and isolated. Where we once had scads of friends to call and talk about "the wait", we now find ourselves incredibly lonely. It's a sad place! People always give us those encouraging words about, "When it happens, it will be perfect" and while I know this is true.....it really doesn't make it any easier!

So, there is nothing new to tell.....we are just hanging out, staying busy, and waiting for God to drop a bombshell on us! (As if the news of TWO trips to Eth. was not "bombshell" enough!) The next bombshell we are are hoping for something GOOD!

Thanks for hanging in there with us! Love to all!

The "Labor Pains" of adoption

On March 14, we have been "paper pregnant" for 7 months. Typically, at this point in a "regular" pregnancy, anticipation begins to set in. Mothers begin nesting and getting things ready for their new arrival. They suffer sleepless nights and occasional "pains" associated with this little one.

Last night, we received news about a change in the process of Ethiopian adoptions....it is a change that has caused me some "labor pains" today.

One reason we chose Ethiopia was that we only had to make one trip to Ethiopia and it was a fairly short, painless process. (HA!) Now, they have changed the process to require a SECOND trip. Not only will this be a tremendous added expense for us, but it was prolong the process for us even more......

In my pain, a good friend shared some good advice to help me get through this "pain".

"If it's God's WILL, then it's God's BILL!!"

I must stand on this and know that HE will make a way where there seems to be NO WAY. And things will be even better than they were before! He will get the glory and honor in this adoption!

6 months....

We finally hit our 6 month waiting mark yesterday. It really has went by relatively quick....Each day, I think , "Today is the day!" Only to be disappointed. But you know, it really isn't disappointing. I KNOW that God is preparing OUR child for our family. I know that when it is God's perfect time, and He says, "Ok, NOW I'm ready to give you your baby," that it will be perfect and right. So, that makes the wait so much easier.

I have been blessed by such awesome friends through this process. The Simmons, Pritchetts, Redburns, Loos, Hogans, Toni Lynch, and many, many others that have showed their love and encouragement to us and have meant more than words can say! I thank God that He gives us people to walk hand in hand with us and help us through the process.

So, for now, we WAIT! Someday, you are going to jump on here and think, "I think I will check out Amy's blog," only to read those LOOOONNNGGG awaited words, "WE GOT OUR REFERRAL!" I can't wait for that day.....but it MUST be GOD'S time!! :O)

And then there was one.....

So when we started this process, there were several other families in our community that we knew were in the process of adoption at all different levels. Our best friends, the Simmons family, actually dropped their application in the mailbox at the exact same time that we did....after a wonderful prayer service with our kids. It was a special moment as I knew this journey would be something that would connect us forever. Then one of my PAT families suddenly announced that they were starting the process for adoption. The principal of Mark Twain and his wife are good friends and our boys have been very close for years. At her son's birthday party, she told me THEY were in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. In the Fall, I came to find out that a former coach for Rolla and her husband were adopting from Ethiopia as well. Wow! So many people all adopting from the same place. Awesome. Well, let me update you on what has gone since Aug. 09....

The Pritchett family brought their beautiful two boys home in June (I think June) Muluken and Dawit are wonderful additions to their family. We were honored to have them in our home last weekend. They are delightful, playful, and very well mannered.

The Simmons' family accepted the referral of a beautiful little 4 year old boy in October. Conor has beautiful, big brown eyes and scrumptious chubby cheeks....I can't wait to hug and kiss on him...hopefully in February.

It is my understanding that over Christmas break, the Scott family accepted a referral for a gorgeous 3 month old baby boy.

And on Wednesday, the Redburn's called to tell me the exciting news that they accepted the referral of not ONE but TWIN 6 year old boys! Hopefully they will be able to travel late Spring or early summer. I can't wait to see how this awesome family blends with these two special blessings!

And.......then there was ONE. Guess who the "one" is?? :) Yes, I am trying to stay focused and positive, but one is a lonely number........still waiting.............

Five months.....and counting!

It's been 5 months and 1 day since we became an "official waiting family". In many ways, it was flown by, in other ways, it seems like it has been an eternity! We are happy and peaceful and are learning contentment in just "waiting".

Our hearts are also staying busy worrying about our our friends, NO, FAMILY in Haiti. Since 1997, I have made the trip to Haiti over 20 times. There is a part of my heart that stays in Haiti each and every time I go. That part of my heart is also suffering with those I have come to love.

I know that our children we care for tenderly are all safe. I know that my faithful partner, John, and his beautiful wife Ruth, are safe. I know that their lives are consumed with caring for the sick and helping remove the death and despair from the streets. I pray that God will use me in the coming months to be encouragment and strength to those in need.

That's it for now. I hope to someday be able to knock you off your seat when I am able to put info about our precious son or daughter, but for now.....we wait!